Trophy Case

From time to time I get great letters or comments from students about how they've been impacted by my ministry or how they are doing ministry to others. I've decided to make a trophy case of these on my volunteer youth ministry blog. My hope is that these will be a source of encouragement not only to me, but new youth workers, discouraged volunteers, or anybody anxiously wondering if ministry will ever become natural, fulfilling, or rewarding.

These trophies are for your encouragement as much as they are for me. I hope you'll save your trophies, too, as they come in (and they will if you commit to last).

There's one trophy there now with more on the way... Click Here

Volunteer Youth Ministry

I put two new posts on my blog for volunteer youth workers today.

Cutting Up My Lesson Plans - click here

This is a creative approach I take a couple of times a year to get the students more invested in their time at small group.

Using My Graduates - click here

This is a post about the incredible resource that graduates from my ministry each year. I've decided not to let the miles that separate us during the school year rob my students of what they have to offer.

Traditions

I just wrote a blog post about the importance of traditions on my youth ministry blog for volunteers. Check it out at http://dbeckner.wordpress.com/2008/10/07/traditions/

Two New Youth Ministry Blog Posts

I started a blog for volunteer youth workers a couple of weeks ago. Tonight I put two more posts on it:

1. Consistency is King - about the importance of being consistent
Click Here

2. Behavior - Deal With It - analyzing behavior and tips to deal with it - you may be surprised at the approach
Click Here

Busting Through The Awkwardness

Preface: If you're an extrovert, you may want to skip this... unless you are surrounded by introvert youth volunteers who need help connecting with students.

Unless you're a flaming extrovert, you probably have noticed that painful awkwardness when trying to connect with new students. I've listed 5 techniques that have made that initial conversation a springboard for great relational youth ministry.

1. New students of the same gender

Guys are my target when greeting students. I try to let the female leaders meet the female students. I always focus on the guys.

I don't ask for his name, school or grade right away. I know that will come through the natural course of the conversation.

I do look for signs of easy connections I can make.

• Do I know students he's with? I can talk to them and ask them (in front of him) to introduce me - that builds instant rapport by using them as my "Trojan Horse" to get passed any walls he may normally have up when talking to a dorky adult at church
• Is he wearing clues to his identity (athletic jersey, high school team sweatshirt, class ring, etc.) - Students love to talk about themselves (actually this is true of all age groups). If they're wearing anything that indicates their interests or involvement, that's my Trojan Horse
• Does his demeanor give him away - is he sad, apparently lonely, excited, feeling awkward (wall flower), angry - use that to get inside - I use that as the conversation starter

2. New students of the opposite gender

I don't have long conversations with them unless others are in on it.

I do talk long enough to get some basic rapport going. I use that information to introduce her to a female volunteer who would be a good match to what I learned about her.

3. New students who are brought by their parents

I don't assume the student wants to be there.

I don't overload them with every program and calendar activity we have to offer. I give all of that to the parents (or introduce them to somebody who will and I'll take the student a different direction. Some students won't open up until their parents are gone - especially if they're forced to be there. If you "rescue" them from their "embarrassing" parents (sorry parents), they'll instantly be appreciative (many times)).

I do find out his story. I'll ask him what brought him there and how he feels about it. I love when the student came as a result of a move because I can briefly share my story about moving as a teenager and how it felt. That's a story of pain we can share that's incredibly useful in building a connection.

I ALWAYS apply #5 below to students who are accompanied by their parents.

4. Non-responsive students

I'm never offended by their non-responsiveness or apparent mood (anger, depression, disinterest - more of an action than a mood)

I do greet them every time they show up and try to strike up a conversation by using the steps in #5 below. I know that eventually they'll warm up to a consistent, non-judgmental adult who is always friendly

5. All students (even the ones I know)

Like I mentioned above, I don't ask a person's name, school or grade right away. Those are the questions they expect to get asked. You probably won't remember the answers until you really get to know the student, anyway. Through the course of getting to know the student, you'll learn that information.

I do ask insider questions. Insider questions are like Trojan Horses (as I mentioned above). They help you get passed the walls students normally put up until they feel comfortable with you. These are questions that get to the heart of a person's feelings and responses to life.

A poor example of this type of question is, "Do you have any pets?" It's random and if he says, "No," the conversation just hit a roadblock.

However, one of my favorite insider question is, "You must love your dog. What kind do you have?" On the surface, that's not an insider question. However, the fact that this stranger's dark-colored shirt is covered with light-colored animal hair makes it an insider question because I used information readily available to move into something I know he must care deeply about.

The idea behind the insider question is that the student responds with a story instead of a one-word answer. The result of insider questions is a meaningful conversation that pulls students in, creates a memorable experience and paves the way for deeper ministry to happen.

Had to Back Out of a Commitment Today

As a volunteer youth worker, I do my best to make and keep commitments with students. However, sometimes I have to back out. I hate that because I do my absolute best to model the importance of keeping commitments even when it comes at a personal sacrifice.

Tomorrow I was supposed to spend a few hours with a student who is helping with our Vacation Bible School at church. He lives pretty far from the church and relies on his family to take him back and forth to church events. I was hoping to alleviate their driving tomorrow by keeping him around until the youth event tomorrow night.

Unfortunately, an appointment came up for tomorrow that I couldn't afford to turn down. That's where my internal conflict comes in. In my heart, I would turn down the appointment without thinking twice because my passion and commitment is to serving Christ by serving students. However, my bills still need to be paid.

I am very fortunate to be in the business I'm in. I have more free time than anybody should be allowed to have, but still make enough to live on. I can typically take time off when I need to for vacation or taking the students to summer camp. It's a good deal.

Times like this, however, are a real struggle for me. I wish there was a way to have my cake and eat it too; make commitments to students and still be able to do all of the appointments that come my way.

The good news is that I've earned a few credits with this student. We've built up a good rapport and he knows my heart has his best interest in mind. I'm taking next Monday off to go with him and Kyle Cleveland to Magic Mountain. If, however, I flake out on that or other events, I'll begin burning up my credits with this student and be just another adult who makes promises that he doesn't intend to keep. Proverbs refers to this as a raincloud that produces no rain.

My point to all of this is more on a personal level. If you get anything out of it, that's a bonus. I'm writing this blog post more as a way of writing myself a reminder about the importance of making commitments sparingly unless I am certain I can follow through. I also need to actively build credibility with those under my care by being a consistent source of predictable support in their lives.

The reward, as well as the consequence, will be placed on the head of the student more than it will on me. The worst thing that can happen to me is that I lose the trust and respect of the student. The worst thing that can happen to the student is that he can lose his ability to trust others and become cynical. The best thing that can happen to him is that he will be so blessed by my ministry to him that he ministers to others, bearing the fruit of my ministry investment in his life. That's a reward both of us get to enjoy as well as the people he ministers to.

My Search For A Youth Ministry Job, Pt. 2

A few seconds ago, I withdrew my resume from a high school ministry position in Yorba Linda. After reading through the materials and thinking through this and praying about it all week, I knew it wasn't the right match.

I'm keeping my eye out for opportunities, but am not going to move too quickly on anything. Maybe God wants me to stay put, maybe he has the right opportunity waiting for me. I'll keep the updates coming as they happen.

DB

My Search For A Youth Ministry Job, Pt. 1

Seeking God's will for my life, I've started searching out youth ministry positions. I'll post blogs as I go through this process. It's only been a few days since starting this search, but I've been praying about this now for a few months.

Sunday night I responded to a few youth ministry positions posted on YouthSpecialties.com. Monday I received a request for a resume and also posted my resume on YouthSpecialties.com. Tonight I received another request from the Reno area for a resume and application package. It seems like a great opportunity, but I have some questions about the strength of their theology.

Tonight I got an e-mail from the church in Yorba Linda that requested my resume. They want to interview me on Saturday.

This seems to be a lot in such a short amount of time. It is. However, I'm definitely not in a rush. I've gone too quickly into youth ministry positions in the past and been burned pretty badly.

I'm very encouraged by the response, but will ask tough questions and do some due diligence before accepting anything.

There is another opportunity I'm working on in the background. It's not a for-sure opening, yet. This one is at the top of my list, but have to be patient for the process.

With all of this going on, one of my options is that I could keep doing what I'm doing. I love my ministry as a volunteer and feel fulfilled doing it. My only purpose in this search is to test the drive I have for youth ministry. I want to see if God is leading me to get back into full time ministry. If the answer is no, I'm happy to keep things the way they are. If it's yes, I will be so happy to be back on staff in youth ministry.

Please pray for me as I go through this process.

Thanks,

Dennis

Saddleback Refinery - Free Lunch Fridays Started Today

Today from 12:00 - 3:00 Saddleback Church's Refinery (Student Ministries building) was open to students for free lunch and games. What I loved about this event was the lack of programming. The program was to feed students, let them play the games and let staff and volunteers get to know them.

I met some incoming 9th graders, some older students who are totally tied in but I hadn't met before, and several students playing pool and shuffle board. It's so incredibly easy to meet and talk with students in this setting.

The highlight of my day was talking to a former small group student of mine who graduated a couple of years ago. He's had a little bit of trouble in his life and it was good to see that he's on the right path now. We caught up on life and recaptured some of the closeness we felt back in the day. It was awesome.

Free lunch Fridays happens every Friday until the end of July from 12:00 - 3:00. It's a great event for volunteers and students alike.

Dennis Beckner
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Great Video Clips

I just checked out this blog entry on MoreThanDodgeball.com that you need to check out. It's a bunch of short video clips that spoof the "The More You Know" commercials. Check it out by clicking here.

I Love Youth Ministry, Part 2

Tonight the Refinery at Saddleback Church opened for the first services. The Refinery is the new building on campus for the Wildside (Jr High) and High School Ministry. It will also be used on Thursday nights for CRAVE (College Ministry).

I attended both High School Ministry services. The first one had a good number of students. The second service was a full house. It was amazing. The staff did not disappoint. They had some good stuff going on during the service. It was the first week for the incoming freshmen so they had some fun welcoming them. Doug Fields knocked it out of the park with his message.

My favorite part of being in the Refinery tonight was being in the game area. It was super easy to connect with students. I started a game of pool with a one guy. As more people came to hang out, I turned it into a 2-on-2 game. Then another came to watch so I had him take my place while I stood there watching and talking to them while they played. They were all horrible at pool so we got to talk until the service started. They never did finish the game.

Something else I love about this building is how easy it is to spot kids who are alone. Now that we have the games going on, it's easy to get them involved or for them to feel involved by watching what's going on instead of sitting by themselves waiting for the service to start. The effectiveness of our ministry just jumped exponentially with this new facility.

This building was designed for ministry to be done in many ways. Lives will be eternally impacted for generations to come because of the vision of Saddleback Church and the generosity of its members. I'm honored to play a part in it.

Dennis Beckner

The Refinery (Saddleback Church's Student Ministry Building)

Worked there again today helping get it ready for the big opening weekend. Today I saw the fancy Starbucks-style coffee machine being wheeled in. Woo-hoo!!! This place is going to be amazing. Yesterday after I left they mounted these amazing murals on the walls highlighting different student-led ministries.

That's such a great way to:
1. Promote ministries
2. Show that students can do anything they set their minds to
3. Build up the students who step out to do something

The only bad part is that one of the murals has a typo. Yikes! That's gotta hurt a little.