Spiritual Goals: Where do I need spiritual development?

Context: I'm on the warpath right now... trying to do some self-evaluation spiritually.

The problem with this exercise (evaluating my spiritual life) is that, by the fact that I'm evaluating my spiritual life, I feel like I must be doing pretty well. However, I know that's not necessarily true. I need to know where God wants to change, challenge and correct me. Today, however, seeing where I needed some attention came a little easier than I would have liked.

This morning I felt uncomfortably corrected by God. Today was bill-paying day. As I wrote the check for the last bill, a guilt-laden realization descended over me. It was almost like an invisible blanket I could feel snuggly wrapped all around me.

A little explanation... I don't get paid like most people. My income comes in small increments of $150 or $200 checks. Some days I don't get any checks, other days I can get several. It all depends on when they arrive. They're like time bombs with no display for the minutes... but in a good way.

Because of my unusual situation, I keep a list of how much I owe in tithe. When the amount gets high enough, I schedule a payment to my church through my online banking. It's a good system that works well for me.

Here's why the guilt... After I wrote the check for my last bill and my bank account was almost depleted, I remembered that I had not paid my tithe. I had to move money from one account to another so I could even afford to pay God. He was getting my leftovers... and I was lucky there were leftovers to give. I hadn't given him my first and best.

Lesson learned... I'm not a bad guy. I have a great relationship with my Creator... maybe that's why I felt so guilty about giving him crumbs. I love him and serve him faithfully. However, today he reminded me that he comes first; before my bills, before other priorities, before myself.

That's his deal with me - "Remain in me and I will remain in you", "Apart from me, you can do nothing", "Seek first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you", "God disciplines those he loves", "God's proves his love through discipline" - that last one was the title of Hebrews chapter 2 which is where I've been reading the past couple of days.

Bottom line... My tithe wasn't the issue today. Tithe ALWAYS gets paid. That's non-negotiable for me. The source of today's celestial rebuke was that my priorities were out of order and God got the leftovers. His check is in my wallet and will be in the offering basket instead of paid online. That way he'll get his before my other bills clear the bank. God comes first.